An Unlikely Gift for the Holidays

by Nikki Mark

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If you have lost someone you love and are grieving this holiday season, I have written this specifically for you.

I am sharing the following story because I know that grief can’t just be postponed at will. It doesn’t know how to take a holiday break. And once it starts spiraling it can take us down further than we ever knew we could go.

So today, as we head into what can be an extremely emotional holiday week for those who have lost, I want to share a pivotal moment in my healing journey that may spark some light on yours.

Within a year of my son passing away, I was confronted with a choice. I’m still not sure where this choice came from. It was downloaded into my thoughts and kept repeating itself over and over until I was ready to listen, contemplate and decide.

The choice was this:

  1. I could choose to believe that the amount of pain I was feeling was equivalent to how much I loved my son, and I could curl up with my pain like an addiction and slowly die with it for the rest of my life… OR
  2. I could get-up and move through my pain, step by step, day after day, and honor my son by how I lived — expressing my love in a way that served others and perhaps even honored myself in the process.
    It was much easier to sink and lose myself forever, to be honest. To honor my eldest son meant to carry his spirit forward and live fully. It meant playing, laughing, and smiling…just like he did.

All that sounded impossible.

BUT I had a younger son who deserved a beautiful life and loving mother, and I wanted to give him both. I had a husband whom I loved and was deep in his grieving process. And I had a legacy to build for my departed son, along with a relentless curiosity to know whether it was possible for a regular person like me to connect with his spirit.

I had never contemplated the eternal nature of the human spirit before, but new senses were awakening, and as life transformed before my eyes I could not deny all the magic unfolding around me.

This sparked my desire to speak to a psychic medium and try to make some sense of what was happening to me. The first one I spoke with a week after my son passed away, said something that has stuck with me ever since.

“Your son says you will do everything in his name to begin with… but eventually it will be for yourself too.”

The last thing I cared about was myself, but this message resonated so deeply that it filled me with greater purpose and hope. I would live to honor him, I decided. And I would trust that doing so would benefit me and the rest of my family too.  

“The departed always leave gifts,” this medium continued to explain, as have numerous healers ever since. 

Well, when we lose a loved one, we aren’t exactly looking for gifts.  

BUT, as I consciously moved through my grief, allowing the painful side of love to lead the way, I found choices. One led me to another, and in time, I began to receive gifts I never expected.   

I found passion for writing, for example, and published a book as a resource for others. I created a charitable foundation and discovered new meaning in serving others.  Eventually, I developed a stronger voice, a wider community and a sixth sense that has brought me the gift of magic.

Of course, I would give it all back to have my son physically here with us. But if I controlled the ways of the Universe, I wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.

So, if you have lost someone or something special and are struggling to get through this holiday season, or if you are simply experiencing a difficult moment of change and transformation and are ready to transmute some suffering into a form of love that drives you forward and brightens the world, consider gifting yourself this choice.

If you don’t have the motivation to do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones. And don’t be surprised when you look up one day, like the psychic medium said I would, and realize it was all for you too.

PS: Please share this article freely with anyone who has experienced loss. A little extra support might just be the holiday gift they need this year.

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