Hi everyone!
My favorite holiday is approaching, and I hope this article inspires you to celebrate it! I shared a similar story last year at this time but have since made some revisions and added new touches. Hope you and our ancestors like it! 😉
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Día de los Muertos is coming up on November 1st and 2nd this week, and I am getting ready to celebrate!
Why?
Because according to Mexican tradition AND the animated Disney film Coco, “Dia de los Muertos is the one night of the year our ancestors can come visit us!”
I know this may sound silly to some of you, but here’s the deal.
Even if you haven’t lost a loved one in this lifetime with whom you would do anything to connect, we all have ancestors. And whether we have had the pleasure of knowing them or not, they are still a part of our family and impacting our lives.
Think about it.
Our ancestors don’t just innocently pass down their genes; they also bless us with their talents and interests. They influence our belief systems and economic circumstances (for better or worse). Some even burden us with their challenges and traumas (don’t get me started on the cycle of loss that sadly transferred from my great-great grandparents to me…).
Whatever our respective family dynamics may be, getting to know our ancestors is an easy and playful way to learn more about ourselves as well.
Of course, I didn’t know any of this until after Tommy passed away. Only then did I start contemplating whether the human spirit really lives on. Desperate for proof, I questioned whether it’s possible for our spirits to keep growing and learning together despite being in different worlds—and if so, could a regular person like me learn how to do so?
As I pondered these rather large and existential kinds of questions, a former middle school friend of Tommy’s told me that the animated film Coco had been one of Tommy’s favorite movies.
Having not yet seen Coco at that time, I grabbed a box of Kleenex, hunkered down on my couch, and watched the film all by myself.
As the twelve-year-old boy in the movie sang and played guitar like Tommy used to do, I immediately understood why the story had captured his heart. And when another character in the film declared that “Día de los Muertos is the one night of the year our ancestors can come visit us!” it immediately captured mine too.
As the curious boy in the film learned more about his ancestors and developed a relationship with them, my imagination expanded as it entertained the notion of an afterlife.
What if the veil between our worlds really is the thinnest on Día de los Muertos?I wondered.
What if my son and my ancestors are waiting to celebrate, just like the ones in the film?
The possibilities, no matter how small, lifted my grieving spirit and inspired me to host my first-ever Día de los Muertos gathering at my home later that year.
“Let’s order Mexican food,” one girlfriend suggested.
“I’ll make the margaritas,” offered another.
Together, we made a simple altar with candles, fresh flowers, and photographs of our ancestors and respective loved ones who have passed. Some of us layered in sweets and drinks that we knew our deceased family members loved. Others contributed trinkets representing their ancestor’s talents and favorite hobbies.
As the rest of our neighborhood invested in Halloween and the spookiness of death, five of my friends and I connected with our ancestors and celebrated the eternal nature of life.
As the evening progressed and the lights throughout my home began to flicker, I sensed that my ancestors were thrilled. And the following day, when I looked back though the photos I had taken of the evening and saw multiple small globes of blue light dancing around the room, my heart fluttered and wondered, Are these balls of light spirits?
What else could they be?
Six years later, my Día de los Muertos gathering has now tripled in size—and for me, the holiday just keeps getting better.
So does my Coco story!
About a year after that first Día de los Muertos party, I had an incredible reading on the phone with a medium in New Jersey named Anthony Mrocka.
At some point in the reading, Anthony asked me, “What’s up with the dog next door?”
“What do you mean?” I responded.
“Your son keeps talking about the dog next door. Did your neighbors get a new dog or something?”
“Yes,” I said. “A few weeks ago.”
“Why would your son be talking about your neighbor’s dog? Is there something special about it?”
I thought I knew where he was heading, but waited to see.
“What’s the dog’s name? Something about the name is making your son smile.”
“Yes!” I responded enthusiastically. “The dog’s name is Coco, and that was one of my son’s favorite movies.”
You can’t make this stuff up.
While scientists don’t measure consciousness (yet!) and I don’t have physical proof that the human spirit lives on (although I can share photographs with the blue globes of light if you want to see them 🤗), I can tell you that there is nothing to lose by celebrating Día de los Muertos—and so much to gain.
As the film Coco has enlightened me: “If there’s no one left in the living world to remember you, you disappear from the world. We have the power to change that.”
So, if it speaks to you this upcoming week on November 1st or 2nd, light a candle, put up some photos of your ancestors and loved ones lost, make a toast, and feel your spirits lift as you celebrate their lives and learn from them.
Even if you don’t believe in the spiritual possibilities of the holiday like I do, you’ll still be starting a family tradition which just might ensure that your family line never forgets you either. 👻
P.S. If you are curious about working with a medium and missed my live Instagram session with medium Anthony Mrocka, here’s the LINK to our full discussion. If you’d like to see him in action at one of his live events, CLICK HERE. He’s one of the best mediums I know, and worth the wait! ❣️
